me in 7th grade:listen promise you won't tell anyone.. omg this is so embarrassing.. I got my period.. do you have a pad maybe?
    me now:LISTEN UP EVERYBODY I'M ON MY FUCKING PERIOD NOW SOMEONE BETTER HAND ME A TAMPON OR I'LL BLEED ON ALL YOUR FUCKING FACES!!

superbmarksman:

i always end up thinking about the economic damage in superhero movies

    DC:Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
    Marvel:YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
    DC:We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
    Marvel:HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
    DC:The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
    Marvel:DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
    DC:After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
    Marvel:PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
    DC:We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
    Marvel:NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
    DC:We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
    Marvel:NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
    DC:We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
    Marvel:FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
    DC:Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
    Marvel:NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
    DC:Wait-
    Marvel:NEW FEMALE THOR
    DC:I didn't-
    Marvel:NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
    Marvel:TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
    Marvel:PEACE

dutchster:

when you have the hiccups while trying to sleep

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